Thursday, January 04, 2007

A Real Prophet, Healer, Preacher But With Money

One of the great games for the Wii include Trauma Centre: Second Opinion. In it you get to become a surgeon and perform operations. You become a doctor like House. Maybe not the exact same. House was not really a surgeon. But I love playing it and pretending that I am House but the kind of House that does surgery. You know, with his hilarious sarcasm and his cutting witty comments. And as I play I start to believe that "Hey, I could do this for real". Now I'm saying that I would just start doing surgery if I see someone clearly in need of surgery. That's just silly. I mean, I would really have to practice a lot before I start doing that. But in theory, maybe one day I could. Because I'm pretty awesome at the game. Cutting guys open. Using foreceps. Using the defibrillators. Yelling stat.

That reminds me of Guitar Hero, which I'm also awesome at. In that game, you play a fake guitar to play along with popular rock songs. And as it the difficulties get tougher, they make the songs more complex. And I start to think, hey, maybe I could become a real rock star and play a real guitar. All I would have to do is beat the game on Expert, go buy a real guitar and head off to my first rock show. And if I keep practicing Trauma Centre, I would be able to save my fans if any crash through a plate glass window or get shot. I would be a famous rock star surgeon. All because of video games.

I would be famous like Benny Hinn. Heck, maybe I could become Benny Hinn. All I would have to do is learn a couple of Bible passages, learn how to pray, learn how to convince people that I could heal them and then I would be a real preacher just like how I would be a real rock star and a real surgeon by playing video games.

That's it! I make a video game where you become Benny Hinn. You start off at the beginning of one of his shows where you walk around and pick the people you want to plant in the audience and then pick some other suckers and bring them to the front. Then you would have to time your button pushes in order to properly say "Bless you" and the proper time to make a bull crap speach. And if you do well, the more money you get. And then you can spend all the money you earn by going to the presidential suites of the ritziest hotels and spend money for you private jet to take you to resorts around the world. And then you'll become a real prophet, healer, preacher but with money. A ludicrous amount of money. You know, the ones that Jesus wanted for us to become. I would call the game "Deity Complex" or possibly "Biggest Jackass in the World".

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